I lived to see another Mother's day

Growing up, I think it is *almost* every girls dream to be a mommy. Was it my dream? Absolutely! I believe I've always been the mothering type. I loved taking care of my baby dolls. I use to push my little brother in his stroller down our street. I am 5 years older than him. I use to worry about when my older sister would sneak her boyfriends in. Listen...everyone knows this story (even our mom & Ashley's husband), so no worries. Its almost a joke in our family. Just ask Lee (our brother), he brings it up at every family gathering.

I knew as soon as I got married, I wanted kids right then. That didn't happen for Nate & I. About 9 months after getting married, I went off birth control. Each month we would wait in anticipation at the thought of being pregnant. And each month, we had a pregnancy stick (or 2) that read "negative." For a few years, this became our monthly ritual. After the first year, we learned not to get our hopes up.

In the meantime, my sister became pregnant. To be honest (and she knows this), it was difficult. It isn't a surprise, now, that Ash & Aaron are the worlds most fertile couple. However, I grew to love this unborn baby so much. I absolutely couldn't wait to meet him. And at last, on May 30, 2000; my beautiful nephew, Trevor, was born...at 8:28 am. From the beginning, I felt such a strong connection with Trevor. To this day, I swear he is supposed to be mine. But I guess I'll let his mom have him & I'll stick with being his favorite aunt. Each week, I couldn't wait to visit him & love on him & kiss him. My desire to have a baby intensified. If this was what loving a baby felt like, I wanted it!

After a few years of trying to conceive, Nate & I were referred to a fertility specialist. From there, our dreams came true....doubly true! Unfortunately, that dream was shattered with the death of our Eli & Olivia. To know that their deaths were caused from me not being able to carry them to full term, was crushing. I wasn't giving up. No way! I WAS supposed to be a mom. It was my destiny. So we tried again. And after a few shots, I was pregnant with 3!

To find out that you are having 3 babies at one time is quite a shock. And this is something I can share with MY mom forever. She took me to the hospital to see our fertility doctor because I had bleeding early on. Freaked out because of what happened with the twins, she was the only available person to take me at such a short notice. After doing an ultrasound & determining everything was okay, the doctor said, "There are 2 sacs...wait, no, 3! You are pregnant with 3!" I looked at my mom & she said as calmly as possible, "It's okay Shannon, we can do this!" And at 10 weeks, I had surgery to sew the ol' cervix shut & the rest is history.

I was blessed to have 3 healthy babies, born at 30 weeks & 6 days. Finally, I could have this joy that I waited for & wanted for so long. It was my turn to be a mama! And let me tell you, it has been a roller coaster of a ride. I say I lived to see this mother's day because, well, age 3 has not been the easiest for us. But oh my gosh, it is still amazing to me that these 3 little people are all mine! And Nate's. :)

Each day they do something new to make me laugh or think, "what in the h*&$ are they thinking?" They love me unconditionally...even when I flip out. They know that their mama is going to take care of them no matter what. They know that I love them more than life & would step in the way of anyone who would try to hurt them. I am so truly blessed to have so much love & to be the receiver of so much. Life was boring before they came along. Each day was the same ol'. But now, each day is an adventure. And some days, I want to jump ship, but I pull myself back up & get ready for the next adventure. I've learned so much from these 3 people. And I feel so lucky to be their mama!

Happy Mother's Day!

And Happy Mother's day to my mom! She has shown me what it is like to work hard & provide for her kids as well as loving them & wanting nothing but the best for them. I'm so lucky she's mine!

**And to all those mother's who have lost a child & also have living children, it is a bittersweet day. **